harsh in kinesphere

Feeling deeply exploited after watching the promos of Love Story 2050 with its cheesy music and cheesier choreography, I had a dream where, believe it or not, I traveled into the future. These are some of the things that I observed.

- Bobby darling is very popular /*that explains Priyanka Chopra’s hairdo!*/

- Genetic manipulation is legally allowed and widely practiced /*that explains why Harman Baweja looks like a cross between Hritik Roshan and Emraan Hashmi*/

- Half of the world’s been invaded by America for oil reserves, even Alaska wasn’t spared!

- With the ongoing oil crisis, the US army’s Hummers have been abandoned for mountain terrain bikes- with gears!

- GM, Chevrolet and Ford have abandoned automobile manufacturing and are making profits by using their SUVs as landfills.

- The HRD ministry implemented 97% quota for all admissions, more reservations will be introduced.

- Bangalore royal challengers suck! /*its been 42 years now*/

- SRK admits to being bi /* he’s half-way out of the closet */

- California legalized man and machine marriages/unions

- Madonna launched her 38th album titled ‘Undead’ /*can’t figure out why??! */

- Rakhi Sawant got rejected for remake of teletubbies, 6 TIMES!

- Mahesh Bhatt mass produces remakes OF HIS FILMS.

- Mumbai University still screws up futures.

- Yash Raj banner have finally stopped making films starring Uday Chopra.

- Ellen Degeneres stopped giving gifts; now she throws money at your face.

- Aishwarya Rai is as mesmerizing as she was 50 years ago.

There are times when you feel that you are invincible, strong, confident /*other flowery adjectives can also be inserted to describe the way you feel */ but then the guy upstairs makes his point by showing how fundamentally wrong you really are.

I had a similar experience recently which left me more embarrassed than a lesbian in a chip-n-dale club. I was on my way home listening to Flyleaf, Disturbed et al, content in my world that comprised of a seat, an almost empty bus, followed the overworked conductor occasionally asking/ saying/muttering ‘Ticket bola ticket’. Then this lady boarded the bus and sat on the seat ahead of me, the baby in her arms was quiet restless so she had him over her shoulder such that he was facing me. I just happened to notice someone staring at me and there was, the finger sucker blankly looking at me.

That’s when my crazy/weird/insecure alter ego came back to life from the undead. Let me tell you about this ‘Chad’ guy, as I like to call him, he's no good with babies. According to Chad babies are the cutest, but they are god’s answer to make grown ups do silly things /*coz I remember a very serious uncle meowing to his some month old grand daughter just to make her giggle as she kept looking at him in amazement thinking ‘WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY GRANDPA YOU FREAK!’ */ .He also thinks babies are complicated mainly because you don’t know what they are thinking, thats what makes them so unpredictable. Like when he was reading a story to his niece, when after 10 minutes he realized that he was the only one who found it interesting as she had already crawled and gone to her ‘dada’. For him people who can baby-talk are tougher than Dharmendrapaji catching bullets. Playing with babies is a lot like giving excuses for forgetting you girlfriend’s birthday, EVERYTIME you have to come-up with something new else you are a gonner.

Coming back to the ‘incident’ Chad gone bonkers and had already tried jumping out of the moving bus’s window. The bus stopped at the signal, he tried his best not to make eye-contact as he pretended to be engrossed in looking out the window thinking of the million places he could have been at. ‘Please! I’ve had enough, make the lady and her attention seeking baby go! I’ll never pick my nose in public again, I promise’ he mumbled as the bus groaned into motion. And to his astonishment, the lady stood up and made her way to the exit. Life was good again!!! I could feel Chad returning to the realms of my subconscious. Everything’s normal, for now.